Posted by
Saltwater on Saturday, January 24, 2009 10:25:11 PM
Gov. William J. Le Petomane was presented with a series of documents for his signature. The Governor started to read the documents and then had a “What in the hell am I signing?” moment. Heddy Lamar – “That's HEDLEY!” – stepped up and explained each proclamation with Le Petomane dutifully parroting his words. After affixing his signature, Le Petomane looked around as those gathered in attendance applauded his decisiveness and leadership. “Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!”
Such was the White House scene, Thursday, for the signing of the Executive Order closing the detention facilities at Guantanamo Bay. However, instead of a befuddled Mel Brooks and pedantic Harvey Korman we had Barack Obama and White House counsel Greg Craig.
I watched in utter disbelief as the Occupant of the Oval Office had to stop mid-ceremony to ask Craig what they were going to do with the current detainees at Guantanamo. Not surprisingly, no record of what transpired surfaced for easy review. For those who missed it, here are partial transcripts courtesy of Rush Limbaugh:
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OBAMA: In order to effect the appropriate disposition of individuals currently detained by the Department of Defense at Guantanamo, uh, and promptly to close the detention facility at Guantanamo consistent with the national security and foreign policy interests of the United States and interests of justice, I hereby order. And we then we will then provide, uh, the process whereby Guantanamo will be closed no later than, uh, one year from now. We will be... Uhhh.... Ummm.... Is there a separate executive order, Greg, with respect to how we're going to dispose of the detainees? Is that it, eh, uh, what we're doing?
CRAIG: We'll set up a process!
OBAMA: We will be setting up a process, uh, whereby this is going to be taking place.
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He promised the far left during the campaign he would close Gitmo – no matter what – and now he was delivering, consequences be damned.
“Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!”
The Occupant of the Oval Office then turned his attention to a second Executive Order reviewing detention policies for terrorists or other assorted miscreants captured on a battlefield. Again, he seemed confused on what he was actually ordering, and turned to Craig to bail him out:
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OBAMA: What we're doing here is to set up a special interagency task force on detainee disposition. They are going to provide me with information in terms of how we are able to deal in the disposition of some of the detainees that may be currently in Guantanamo that we cannot transfer to other countries, who could pose a serious danger to the United States, uh, but we cannot try because of various problems related to evidence, uh, in a Article 3 court. So this task force is going to provide us with, uh, a series of recommendations on that. Is that correct, Greg?
CRAIG: That's right. And detainee policy going forward.
OBAMA: And detainee policy going forward so that we don't find ourselves in these kinds of situations, uh, in the future.
CRAIG: And there is clear guidance for the military as well.
OBAMA: And that we are providing clear guidance to our military in terms of how to deal with it.
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We have these bad guys locked away, but now he is closing the detention center and doesn't know what to do with them. So, he orders a six-month study.
“Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!”
The Occupant of the Oval Office moved on to a third Executive Order limiting authorized interrogation methodologies to Barcaloungers and Bon Bons. Work, work, work, work, work work.
It was quite a day as number 44 effectively undeclared war against those who have pledged their lives to destroying our nation. The only thing missing were the letters 'PREZ' stenciled across the back of Obama's suit coat. Somewhere in a cave along the Afghanistan border, Bin Laden was surely leading a hearty round of “Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!”
“
Hey, I didn’t get a harrumph out of that guy! Off with his head!”
Dennis P. O'Neil